Covered by Choice post

Asalamu Alaikum,

Hey all, I got my first post up over on the Covered by Choice blog, if you want to check it out-

Hijab Haiku

Friday Feature-Why the new suit?

Asalamu alaikum,

Most of my sewing is random. I just feel inspired to sew something, sometimes with a plan for the finished garment, (sometimes not) and I just sew. I don't have any sort of schedule for it. Sometimes I finish a whole bunch of projects at once, other times I can go weeks without a single stitch.

A lot of my different hobbies are like that(I think it might be ADD, common in my immediate family). I get an urge to start something, and must start RIGHT NOW. Very often getting bored with it rather quickly and starting something new, while the first thing lies around half finished.

The only time I always sew a new suit is when Tariq is in the UAE on business. He goes at least once every six months(to make sure his visa doesn't expire) and sometimes more often if he is needed for something at the family business.

I don't start until he leaves, and try to finish up in two to three days, as we never know exactly how long his business will take. Sometimes the suit is very simple cotton, sometimes fancier fabrics and matching lace/ribbon. If a Friday comes while he is away I might wear the new suit for an hour or so(around the time of the zuhr prayer, while the Jumah khutbah is going on). If there is no Friday then I wear it only just before he arrives, so that it is still nice and unwrinkled when he gets here.

I do this every time he goes, whether we are getting along or having a bit of a fight. Tariq is currently in the UAE, and has been gone about a week. My suit is already finished, and hanging up waiting.

I went a bit fancy this time. I was inspired by a ready made shalwar(pants) that one of my sisters in law had bought. It was white, with a white lace trim at the ankles and white rhinestones sewn at intervals along the lace. I had a blue and white floral print fabric, just enough for a shirt, and I bought a piece of white fabric for the shalwar, along with white lace trim and light blue rhinestones. I sewed all the rhinestones along the lace, then finished up the shalwar with lace at the ankles, and lace along the hem of the shirt and the sleeves. I made a mandarin collar, which was pretty difficult to get right(I need a bit more practice before that gets on the tutorial list!). I sewed that thing and took it out at least four times and it is still a bit wonky! I plan on just wearing a plain white duppatta, and then getting a new one dyed to match when I can get to the market, I did save some lace for that too.

I started this tradition completely by accident, the first time he went for business during our second stay here in late 2009. It has kept up because he notices and compliments every suit I make while he is gone. It is nice that he notices, and makes me very happy. I wonder what will happen when we get back to the US, as he will probably not be traveling as often.

InshAllah, I might try to get some pics up when I wear the suit.

Friday Feature:Rishta Wale Visits!

Asalamu alaikum,

Rishta wale(matchmakers) are one of the main ways that people find a spouse in our family and extended family/friends. I found it very strange, the whole process, but I didn't grow up with it. Now it's just something I have gotten used to.

Risha wale are sometimes just women that have lots of friends, they know people. Within their circle of friends they introduce the families of potential brides/grooms to each other and then just see what happens. Other matchmakers are those who do it professionally, they have offices and charge fees(big fees!).

The professional matchmakers usually require a photo, and you have to fill out a profile, that they match to the potential spouses. After the paperwork, they either accompany one family to visit the other(boy's family usually goes to the girl's house first), or they give the contact numbers to the families and let them contact each other.

This is the part that I am most uncomfortable with. The visits. For me they are doubly awkward, as I do not speak well enough to hold up a conversation very long. Every one in our house runs around pressing clothes, making sure the nice sitting room is cleaned up, and getting some sort of refreshments ready. Usually for the first visit we just serve chai or juice(depending on the season). For second visits there is usually snacks as well- samosey, biscuits, chips, etc.

After the family arrives with the matchmaker, introductions are made, snacks served, then the serious part starts. It is like an interrogation. The potential groom's name, age, education, job status, salary, whether they own or rent a house, how many brothers and sisters, how many of them are married, caste, and a million other questions are put to the potential groom's family. Once all the information is exchanged, then the poor girl is called in. She sits, quietly, while the family stares at her. Checking her height, weight, face. It is generally a visual evaluation, maybe they might ask how old she is, and what education she has completed, but it is not as in depth as the boy's grilling session.

After the visit, each family gives it a couple days, thinks about every thing and then calls the matchmaker to give their answer. It is a stressful process from what I can see, but it seems to work in most cases. The families jointly decide whether someone is acceptable, which is important when many still live in joined families and the new spouse would have to be able to get along with every one.

Friday Feature-Book Review: The Crow Eaters

Asalamu Alaikum,

One of the books I picked up at the Urdu Bazaar here in Karachi, it is, I think, my favorite of the lot. The author, Bapsi Sidhwa, creates a story that is easy to fall into. I was so captivated by this book that I read it in a single sitting.

The story follows the life of Faredoon(Freddie) Junglewalla, and his family. It is funny, though a couple of scenes were a bit on the depressing side. It also was interesting to find out a bit about Parsis, and it prompted me to read more about them.

What I liked most was the way the little family dramas were very realistically captured. The back and forth between Freddy and his mother in law, and the little sibling dramas, like when Billy(one of Freddie's sons) takes his sisters' things to "teach them" to be more careful, seem so natural to large joined families. It makes the story so much more interesting, more real.

This is the type of book that makes me really wish there was a sequel, to find out what happens next, or a series to tell the stories of other minor, but interesting characters of the book. I do recommend this one, it was well worth the read, and it will be on the short list of books I would read multiple times!

Recent Small Knits

Asalamu Alaikum,

 I have recently been knitting up a mini storm! Two babies due in our family within a month or two of each other means lots and lots of tiny knits!

This set is for my SIL's new baby. Her favorite color is yellow, and since she didn't know if she was having a boy or girl she requested yellow and white. 

Patterns-Stockinette BSJ(jacket), Bootees(from the Opinionated Knitter, by EZ), Longies(from the February chapter of Knitter's Almanac), Hat-no pattern, just made up, but there is a little star on the top (from the August chapter of Knitter's Almanac).
Yarn-Random Acrylic, some from Pakistan, some from Abu Dhabi.
Needles-US 5's for all
Yarn


I have completed a couple other projects, including another almost complete set, so inshAllah I will get them up soon.

Friday Feature-Avoiding gender role stereotypes

Asalamu alaikum,

I am trying to raise Saad without too much influence from my husband's family's very set gender role ideas. I really dislike the "Boy's don't do this, that is girl's work", that they push on him. The preference for boys over girls is also very annoying. They do love girls, but they pray for boys.

Our Prophet(saws) helped his wives. There are hadiths that show how he helped out around the house, cleaning or mending his own clothes. If it is not beneath our Prophet(saws), how can anyone else disdain household work? What makes the dishes "woman's work"?

To try to keep Saad more even in his ideas, I let him "help" me wash dishes, or sometimes Tariq does the dishes. Saad also sits near me in the kitchen while I roll the rotis(flat breads) and Tariq cooks them. He sits with me while I sew, and "helps" daddy fix the motorcycle. Sometimes I get out the tools to fix something around the house, while daddy plays with Saad. I want him to see that work is not always divided by gender, but by ability.

I am pretty sure we are doing pretty good keeping him even. Whenever anyone asks him if he likes boy babies or girl babies, his reply is-"I like plain babies".

Friday Feature-In case of ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!

Asalamu Alaikum,

I think I watch too many zombie movies. I have actually mapped out my Zombie Apocalypse plan. I have different plans, depending on where we happen to be living at the time.

I think it would be easier to defend our house in Pakistan, and it has more space. I figure that if we can see it coming(like in Resident Evil) we could stock up on supplies, dry goods and petrol(for the generator). If we can't see it coming(kind of like in 28 Days Later, it happened pretty fast) it may be a bit more difficult. The roof has plenty of space to grow vegetables, maybe keep some chickens. We have a water pump, so we would have water, but without the gas lines how to boil it? We would eventually run out of stuff to burn.We might be able to hold out for a year or more, with a lot of hard work. It is also very defensible, steel grills on the windows, and nothing higher than our house on three sides.

In the UAE, the house space is limited, but there is the huge yard. Also good for growing vegetables, and my BIL already has a bunch of chickens. The biggest problems would be getting water, and what happens after the electricity finally goes. It gets really hot in the desert, and we are all pretty accustomed to having AC in the summer. The yard is somewhat less defensible, with higher buildings on two sides.

I think what I have learned from this is that I watch far too much TV, and I think I will be cutting down!