Saturday, April 30, 2011

Friday Feature- A Good Cry

Asalamu Alaikum,

Sometimes I get really stressed. Living here can be fun, and I do try to stay upbeat and positive. Sometimes though, it just gets to me. After a while everything starts to add up and I feel like I am going to pop from stress, tension, bickering, load shedding, the phone repair guy not showing up for three days (and then wanting a bribe), and the million and one other things that just build up.

One thing at a time it is easy to handle. Ok so when my sister in law and I are not getting along for a couple days, fine, we'll be back to normal next week(inshAllah!). When the phone repair guy finally shows up, and then leaves and then the phone stops working for the rest of the day, fine, he'll be back tomorrow to fix it, and it's just a day anyway.

But when everything happens all at once? There are just times when I feel like crying. So, I do. I go up to my room all alone and sit and just cry. I know it doesn't help, it won't solve my problems, or make them all just disappear. What it does for me is to help relieve the tension. After a good cry (and a nice big pity party, "oh woe is me"), I can sit up, stop feeling sorry for myself, wash my face and feel a lot better. Nothing has changed, but it is easier to face all the problems after a good cry.

I think partly it is because after the crying/pity party, I find it easier to see the good in my life. Like all the good things are hiding away behind the fog of negatives, and the crying comes and washes the fog away to help me see clearly.

Alhamdulilah, I do have a lot to be grateful for. So now that I've had my cry ;-), I'll just be getting back to life, and trying to keep my eyes on the good in life!

PS-sorry for the Friday Feature on a Saturday, our phone wasn't working the repair guy didn't show up until this morning ;-)


Umm Aaminah said...

You are right, sometimes it's helpful. :-) Whatever you use to cope with the bad times, sis.

Take care and insha'Allah everything improves!!!

luckyfatima said...

Big hugs!

It's alright to cry, crying gets the sad out of you.Raindrops from your eyes. Washing all the mad out of you. Raindrops from your eyes. It's gonna make you feel better.

At least that's what they sing on sesame street!

Hugs again!

Adventurous Ammena said...

she still not talking to u?? heheee ;) We are here for you hun.. cry all you want :)

UmmIbrahim said...

I've been known to be a "rundal khichri" myself (that's what we call someone who cries a lot in my family). Living with in-laws in a joint family system can be stressful, and I'm living in the US and my home culture! I don't wanna think about how much more crying I'd do if we were in PK and it was all the outside stuff plus the cultural stuff in the family!

Hang in there sister and hugs from abroad! The only bad thing about crying is the puffy eyes and headache, and that is often worth the "feeling better" that comes after a good cry.

Inna ma'al 'usri yusra.
Indeed with hardship comes ease.

The Gori Wife said...

I know exactly how you feel and I've only visited for a few weeks at a time. For me, it's so strange feeling like a foreigner - like I can't do anything right no matter how hard I try, I can't control my environment. I've had a few good cries in Pakistan myself. Actually, my husband and I always have at least one big fight while we're there too, just as a result of all these pressures and tensions you're talking about.

Aishah said...

Salams all!

Thanks everybody! I love that there are so many people in the same sort of situation or with the same types of experiences that I can relate to.