Friday, February 3, 2012

Friday Feature-Sadly Frustrated

Asalamu alaikum,

I would like to just vent a bit. I can't really vent to anyone in person, as what I want to complain about would most likely upset just about every person around me, and in addition to that they would probably not listen to the point and just take offense.

I sometimes try to give advice(to family members, not just any random stranger ;-) on some bit of Islam that I have learned. I try to do it quietly and with sincere good intentions, as I don't want anyone to get upset with me. In almost all cases they don't listen to what I am saying and get offended anyway, no matter how hard I try to avoid it.

Fast forward a couple weeks, and the same person that got all offended at me, comes to tell me that they just heard on TV/read in the paper/a friend told them-the same piece of advice that I had tried to give them.

There is usually the excuse given to me that "You don't know, you weren't Muslim before, you don't understand." That is what hurts the most. I have looked up hadiths, ayats, asked scholars, and tried to give good advice, to help someone. My words count for less(only to some), because I was not a Muslim before. No matter how much I read and study, my words automatically get less credit, for a reason that I can't help.

Anyways sorry to be so negative, just a bit frustrated is all. I think from now on, I will not be giving advice to people who don't want to listen anyway, save myself the stress! :-)


Unknown said...

Sadly it does happen. In my experience those who were not born into Islam are generally the ones that know more...because they researched into Islam before making the decision to convert.

(And I was born into Islam so I am not being biased)

Adventurous Ammena said...

I too get this.. if it isnt verbal, its just a look and a sly grin 'of course Ammena.. thank you for sharing that' I think its only my husband who actually listens to me, although he does ask for proof of the things I say (which I like as it makes me look back on things) Allahu alim

Farhan Jalil said...

At the end of the day, its the intentions that matter. If your intentions are good then in return something better is just around the corner for you.Never loose your faith in ALLAH........never

Anonymous said...

Your advice gets less, if any, credit not because you are a newer Muslim than your relatives, but because you are a woman. Don't feel bad; I'm one too, married to an Indian. Neither my husband pays any attention to what I say, nor does my adult son, who was taught from infancy that he didn't have to do whatever I told him. I wish I could say it gets better, but it doesn't.

Tanweer Ansari said...

In my view, people that converted to Islam have better understanding of the religion and they try to practice it more seriously than people Iike me who were born to a Muslim parents. I have converted Muslim friends that are way better than I am so, I prefer their knowledge over mine about religious issues. But they too hear words like "you don't know enough,you're just a recent convert..."

You don't have to be disheartened by thes statements. Continue doing what you are advised to do by Allah and our prophet, i.e., teach even if you know a single word of Quran or Hadith.