Friday, November 18, 2011

Friday Feature-Importance of minding your own business

Asalamu alaikum,

I have never really been good at minding my own business. I always want to know what's going on even if it does not involve me at all. I am working on it though, as knowing all the stuff all the time is just not possible, and it is very stressful trying ;-)

A lot of the time all the conversations are going on in Urdu. I have been picking up more and more, but when the conversation is going at a faster clip, I have trouble keeping up, and usually still ask "What was that s/he just said?" Then the conversation will be gone over again by my nearest translator(aka-sister in law) to get me up to speed. Usually it is nothing all that important, and while it may be interesting it is stressful to have to always ask what's going on.

I have found that it is even more important to mind your own business in our little joined family. Sometimes the conversation is just gossip(which I have been trying harder to avoid lately, because it usually just leads to back biting). Other times conversations are part of a larger argument between two or more people, and not minding your own business is a sure way to get the glare of anger shown on yourself. Often during arguments, people that have no interest in the argument take one side or another. Then the opposite side gets upset over the person joining the opposition and so brings up all the recent wrongs of the person who was previously uninvolved.

It would have been better in the persons case to just mind their own business. They are now smack in the middle of the fight. If they had joined the argument because they felt that one party was being unfairly wronged, or to try to put a stop to the argument, they may have been better off to wait until the argument was finished, and then try to patch things up or explain what was going on.

So this is a reminder to myself first, and anybody who cares to listen;-)- if there is nothing really serious going on, sometimes it's just better to mind your own business!

1 comment:

Umm Aaminah said...

I can give you an "amen" to that! :-) It's hard to find that fine line between giving gentle, well-intentioned naseeha and just wanting some info.

I have found myself on both sides and try, like you, to distance myself. Hard but better. :-)